im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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