Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
and you fell through a lawn chair
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
