Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
