My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize