The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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