Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
