i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
