Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
