nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
