Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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