I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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