It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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