Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
