do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
