My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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