Me too!
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
