If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Randomize
