Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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