Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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