You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize