As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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