do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
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