Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
she smelled like a LAN party
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
