my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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