its not stalking. its research.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Liz is crying about burritos again.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
