Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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