her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
