i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
