The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
