After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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