At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
