please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
