Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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