You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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