Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
She needs sedatives and a leash
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
sex in a hospital.. check
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Randomize
