Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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