dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
