I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Panties = found
Randomize