I want to make a zoo with you.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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