My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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