I skipped work to stalk him.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
