oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
