is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
