It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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