Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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