Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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