Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
should my penis look like a turkey
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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