Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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