i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
