if you like me you must not know who I am
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
