WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
