Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
