Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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