Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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