I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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