I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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