i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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