u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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