Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
