What a fucking waste of an outfit
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize