So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
