Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
why do cheetos always look like penises
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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